Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize