She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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