I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize