i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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