Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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