so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
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There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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