Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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