Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
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We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
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I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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