Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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