I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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