Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
there was a trapeze. enough said
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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