she woke up with a sticky ear
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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