i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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