and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
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