Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize