Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize