can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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