I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
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Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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