nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
so let's talk penis.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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