look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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