she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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