Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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