you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
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