You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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