Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize