it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize