i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize