Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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