Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize