she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize