i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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