He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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