Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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