You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize