Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize