wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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