The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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