Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize