I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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