Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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