Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize