she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
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He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
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Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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