Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
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