4 words: hood of his car
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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