i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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