Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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