Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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