Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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