at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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