My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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